Changing the Atmosphere of My Home

It is funny how verses you've read in the Bible over and over and over again one day just click in your brain like never before. I've recently had this happen with a handful of some old favorites of mine. God just decided to help my brain, soul, and heart make the connections with these verses and show me how, if I became of doer of these words, I could drastically change the atmosphere of my home.

I have 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 taped up in my bathroom: "Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." If I decide to do this, my house will be filled with the sound of praise to God, every situation that arises will be taken immediately to God in prayer and will be greeted with thanksgiving and peace rather than doom and gloom.

Colossians 3:23 is a very well know Bible verse that states a common Christian ideal: "Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men." When I put this verse into practice in my day-to-day life, I let go of mediocrity and a poor attitude in the chores and tasks I have to do. I do each and every task to the absolute best of my ability, with a great attitude, because every task is an offering to God. Every chore is a sacrifice that I offer up to God.

When I do laundry three times a day, I come face to face with Philippians 2:3-4 which is taped up above my washing machine: "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others." It's a wonder to me that these words are just now beginning to take root in my heart. The atmosphere in my home is probably most greatly affected by my pride and self-centeredness. They lead to every harsh word, every frustrated sigh, and every complaint that comes out of my mouth. Imagine the difference in the home's atmosphere when mommy doesn't spend her time trying to earn a reward or break with her work, when she looks at the needs of her husband and children as more important than her own, when she lets go of her own personal interests for the sake of fulfilling those of her family.

3 constantly re-read verses out of my Bible:

1. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
2. Colossians 3:23
3. Philippians 2:3-4

7 radical changes in my life:

1. Fill my home with the sound of praise to God.
2. Pray immediately about every situation as it arises or as it pops into my head.
3. Thank God in every circumstance rather than complain or fret.
4. Do each mundane task to the best of my ability as if it were a sacrifice I was offering up to God.
5. Stop using my hard work at home as a manipulative tool to get "rest" or "time alone" or some other thing I'm desiring.
6. Look at my husband and children as being more important than myself.
7. Make my husband's and children's interests a priority, even at the expense of my own interests.

1 home full of peace and joy and love.

Halloween in Our House

Yes, we celebrate Halloween. I wrote this post on an old blog of mine several years ago explaining why.

And this is how Halloween will be shaping up for us this year, as we recover from the flu.

Food is a big part of our Halloween celebrations. We begin with flap-jack-o-lanterns (orange pancakes with faces made of sausage) and witch's brew (green Hawaiian punch) for breakfast. We have fingers and toes (hot dogs with ketchup and mustard fingernails) and slugs in mud (macaroni noodles in brown gravy) for lunch. Dinner is bloody worms and eyeballs (can you guess what that might be?). Dessert is "soul cakes" -- cupcakes iced and decorated with faces made of Halloween candy.

This year, we have decided (even before the flu hit) to do an all-day at-home Halloween extravaganza. Well, that sounds much more "involved" than it probably is. We'll be having a candy scavenger hunt, playing some parlor games like eat the donut off the string, making caramel apples, and watching Disney's Snow White and maybe some episodes of Alfred Hitchcock and/or The Munsters. We may even do our pumpkin carving that night!

Another Seasons of a Mother's Heart Update

1. Be a joyful mother.


2. Be a humble servant.


3. Take care of yourself.


4. Give your house/family a firm foundation.


5. Shine for Christ in your home.


6. Let go of guilt and recover from your mistakes quickly.


7. Understand your kids.


8. Be guided by God and not men.


9. Be a living example to your kids.

Chili Tonight?

We tried this White Chili with Chicken recipe from Family Fun Magazine last week and loved it. Top it with some cheddar and eat with crusty rolls.

And here's my recipe for Meaty Chipotle Chili (a variation of this recipe):

1 Onion, chopped

1 Bell Pepper, chopped

3-4 cloves Garlic, minced

2lb. Ground Turkey or Ground Beef

1 can Kidney Beans

2 cans Tomato Sauce

2 TBL Chili Powder

1 TBL Oregano

1 TBL Cumin

1 1/2 tsp. Salt

1/4 c. Tobasco Chipotle Chili Sauce

Saute onion, bell pepper, and garlic in olive oil in pot. Add ground meat and brown thoroughly.

Add beans and tomato sauce.

Add chili powder, oregano, cumin, and salt. Stir in Chipotle Chili Sauce. Let simmer for 30 min. to an hour.

Great served with cheddar, sour cream and Fritos. J and the kids like their's over rice.

What Are We Doing?

Last week was a trying time for my husband and I. A long and enjoyable weekend with extended family was quickly ruined when one of my exhausted children acted out in anger at both her brother and her grandmother. When my husband and I finally arrived on the scene, some hurtful, spiteful things were said to me about my children, my family and my parenting. I walked away, but the trip did not end without my anger showing through. We got home, calmed down, rested. . . and I appologized for my anger only to learn that others had *serious* problems with me, my children, how I parent, and how I run my home. This sent me into virtual hiding for a little over a week, led to some boundary setting, and set my mind thinking, "What am I doing wrong? How bad am I that someone would say and think these things? What do I need to do differently?"

And then I picked up Sally Clarkson's Season's of a Mother's Heart. I wish I knew that lady personally. She inspires and encourages and convicts every time.

When I read the chapter title, "Freedom from Guilt," I was looking forward to receiving help in dealing with the guilt I was feeling over my poor parenting and house keeping. What I got was even better.

Sally wasn't talking about freedom from the conviction of the Holy Spirit over things we, as mothers, are actually doing wrong. She was talking about freedom from the guilt brought about by other people's standards, judgements, comments, criticisms, ideas, methods, books, tapes, teachings. . .

All week I had been beating myself up, pounding my head, wracking my brain trying to figure out how to correct all these wrongs that these particular people found in my parenting and housekeeping. *All*week*! And it was a waste of time. For all the problems that they were able to point out to me were merely man-made standards and opinions. Not one thing was an actual sin or step out of line with the Word of God.

As moms, wives, homemakers, women. . . there is only one infallible source of information, one perfect how-to book on our jobs -- The Bible. We need only read that, pray for guidance, be open to the leading and direction of the Holy Spirit, and step out in faith to what we think God would have us do in every situation. Advice, self-help books, and seminars are all good and wonderful in their place, but they are not the the Inspired Word of God or, necessarily, the prompting of the Holy Spirit.

When we allow the opinions and judgements and criticisms and advice of others send us into an emotional whirlwind of self-critique, we essentially push God off the throne of our lives and put some imperfect human up in His place. Is this really what we think is best? Is this really what we want to set up as a standard for how we run our homes -- human imperfection? Not me, I want to follow God, not a relative or author or good friend. And it is deplorable when we try to set our standard up to others as the mark of perfection that they should try to reach. We can share how we do things, but we must realize that we were never appointed to be God to anyone.

I encourage you to read these Scriptures, referenced in Sally's book, and ask yourself some serious questions:

Galatians 5:13-26

• How are you treating the other moms in your life? Are you serving and encouraging them; or are you biting, devouring, and consuming them?
• Does the Bible contain all you need to be a godly wife, mother, and homemaker?
• Are you proud of your ability to raise well-behaved children, maintain a loving marriage, or keep a clean and organized house?
• Do you feel that you are in competition with other women?
• Or do you feel jealous or envious of any particular mom or wife or homemaker?

Colossians 2:16-23

• Do you feel you are not measuring up to someone's standards of good wife, good mother, or good homemaker? Is someone else condemning you or sending you into a self-condemnation spree?
• How much stock are you placing in "human commands and teachings"? Is your faith in man becoming greater than your faith in God's Word and the Holy Spirit's guidance?

Romans 14:13-23

• Do you see your judgement of other women as stumbling blocks in their lives? How can your criticisms and judgements cause other women to stumble in their faith or hinder their relationship with God?
• Before you offer advice, do you think about how necessary that advice is? Do you weigh the pros and cons of offering the advice? Do you see how there could, in fact, be cons to offering corrective criticism or opinions sometimes?
• Is your judgement of other women, perhaps, based on your own self-doubts?
• Do you feel that you are under condemnation or that you are condemning others?

Romans 8:1-4

• What does God have to say to you about any and all condemnation that you are under, whether warranted or not, whether self-induced or brought by the judgements of others?

Lessons Learned at HC09

We packed up the kids and headed south a week ago for my husband's annual family homecoming in south Georgia. The trip was a long one for us (14+ hrs, one way) and the camping (not my favorite passtime) was, well, chilly and often sleepless. But the trip, as a whole, was a good one and well worth our time. The kids had a great time camping and getting to meet extended, extended family; and I know J enjoyed catching up with his relations and connecting with those southern roots of his. And even my little introverted, high-strung self left Georgia having gained some important insight. You can learn a lot at a famiy gathering.

I learned that there are two major factors that are keeping us from even wanting to ever move south again: 1) gnats and 2) heat. Sorry, Georgia, we love you and your peaches, but it is just not right to have to go around with a black cloud around you like Pigpen, and there is something fundamentally wrong with sweating outside in the middle of an October day. However, in spite of these irritants, you just couldn't beat the life-giving quality of the smiles both young and old -- I learned that a good smile will warm the heart.

I learned on this trip how to stay warm in the tent at night -- two pairs of socks, cozy pants, a long-sleeved tee under a thick hooded sweatshirt (with the hood up) in a warm sleeping bag on your own cot. I also learned that, when forced to freeze your back and hang half-off your cot and pillow all night because your three year old insists on sleeping with you and no one else, great comfort can be found in looking at his little, peaceful, moonlit face nuzzled up against you through those sleepless hours.

I learned that there is no story like an old story. They create a sense of unity and acceptance.

These were the easy lessons. I also learned that prejudices are most often rooted in insecurities. It is easy to look at those who are different from us, those we fear might even be better than us in some way, as wierd or wrong or crazy. I also learned that alcohol can truly be destructive both in the midst of the fun carousing and the morning after. And I learned that being vulnerable with people can sometimes come back around to bite you in the rear end, but that is not necessarily any reason to put up protective walls.

I learned that walking away to calm down when you are angry doesn't always pan out, so you should always have a plan B.

I learned some valuable lessons as a wife and mother through my own personal experiences and by observing and talking with others. I learned that the grass is greener on my side of the fence. There are a lot of reasons to be grateful for the husband I have, and I'm a fool when I don't acknowledge those things to him or myself. And I learned that every sibling bickers, it is a common and expected occurance that few people even look ascance at and most often brings about humerous memories for people. It even carries into adulthood. But sibling rivalry becomes dangerous when unforgiveness and hatred begin to fester.

I learned that, as a mother, it is imperitive to be at peace with your season in life. When you have small children, raise them, and don't let yourself feel guilty for not contributing more to the events and functions at which you gather. You will give when the kids are grown. Most people understand this and expect nothing more from you, and those who think you are lazy are probably not worth worrying about anyway. I also learned that the best way to train children is with stern, short reprimands followed immediately with a confirmation of your love and acceptance of the child who was reprimanded.

But the most important lesson I learned had to do with my relationship with a dependence on God. I've had conversations with my own mother before about the importance of spending time reading and meditating on Scripture and talking and listening to God daily. Without God we can do nothing (Jn. 15:5) and our strength, as Christians, comes exclusively from Him (2 Cor. 12:9-10). It is easy to go to Him to fill up and be strengthened when Bible reading and prayer fits nicely into a routine day, but one must put forth the effort to fit it into those out-of-the-ordinary days that so often throw us off-track. Time with God needs to be prioritized every day because we are to be ready in season and out of season for anything and everything that might come our way (2 Tim. 4:2). It often happens that, just when you least expect it, just when you think you are okay putting God off until tomorrow, something happens that requires all your strength and fortitude, and you find yourself empty and unable to cope as God would have you to. I learned to make time to be filled and refreshed and built up by God *every* day.

Welcome Fall!

Brilliant reds, oranges, and golds against hazy gray skies.

Browned fields ready to be harvested.

Smoky fires offering up their sacrifices of the past year's leaves.

Spicy apple and pumpkin goodness in the kitchen.

Hot soups and chilis beconing at the end of cool days.

Geese in migration, winter trailing behind them.

Crunch, crunch and laughter as kids jump in piles of leaves.

Cold wind tossing unruly hair.

Familiar warmth of wooly sweaters waking from their summer slumber.

Homeschool '09, Week 2: "B is for. . ."

B is for. . .

Boats (that the explorers came to the Americas on)

• History of Us, Volume 1 by Joy Hakim
• Encounter by Jane Yolen
• Francis Drake and the Sea Rovers of the Spanish Main by John Malam
• Vikings by Fiona Macdonald
• Viking Quest computer game

Brush

• M Is for Masterpiece by David Domeniconi
• Liang and the Magic Paintbrush by Demi
• "Scroll Stories"

From September09

From September09

From September09

Bugle Flower Fairy and Bathtub and Biggest Fart in the World farts.

Birdwatching

• The Birdwatchers by Simon James

G also worked some more on lower case letter recognition and on memorizing the third and fourth lines of Ralph Waldo Emerson's "We Thank Thee."

We also began working on memorizing Romans 12:2 and applying it in our home, read the daily mass readings on Wednesday-Saturday, made Grandparents' Day cards, worked on our daily chores, practiced piano Tuesday-Thursday and had lessons on Thursday, and watched President Obama's speech on Tuesday and set some small-scale educational goals for ourselves.

Seasons of a Mother's Heart Review

1. Be a joyful mother.
2. Be a humble servant.
3. Take care of yourself.
4. Give your house/family a firm foundation.
5. Shine for Christ in your home.
6. Let go of guilt and recover from your mistakes more quickly.

Homeschool '09, Week 1: "A is for. . ."

A is for. . .

American Indians

• History of Us, Volume 1 by Joy Hakim
• Native American Stories by Joseph Bruchac
• The Eskimos Knew by T. S. Pine
• Arrow to the Sun by Gerald McDermott
• Legend of the Blue Bonnet by Tomie de Paola
• Legend of the Indian Paintbrush by Tomie de Paola
• Hiawatha by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
• The Boy Who Lived with the Bears by Joseph Bruchac
• Corn Is Maize by Aliki
• Corn Husk Dolls

Art

• M Is for Masterpiece by David Domeniconi
• Can You Find It? by Judith Cressy
• Can You Find It, Too? by by Judith Cressy
• "Cave Paintings"

From September09

From September09

From September09

From September09

Apple Blossom Fairy and, unfortunately, Alarm and Amplified Farts (J picked that one up at a book sale).

Apple

• Life and Times of the Apple by Charles Micucci
• Johnny Appleseed by Steven Kellogg

Angelina Ballerina

• Angelina Ballerina by Katharine Holabird
• Angelina and the Princess by Katharine Holabird

* G also worked on lower case letter recognition and memorizing the first two lines of "We Thank Thee" by Ralph Waldo Emerson

*We also worked on memorizing Romans 12:1, read these Bible readings every day, made Labor Day gifts for J, and finished up Mr. Popper's Penguins by Richard Atwater.