Goodbye, Christmas. See You Next Year.

The Christmas holidays have come to an end. Looking back, this season has felt somewhat somber. My goal, starting out, was to focus my children's attention less on their own desires and more on the needs of others. I believe it worked. But my efforts in this area changed something in me, too. Beginning with our reading of The Little Match Girl on December 1st, something of the starry-eyed wonderment and magic of Christmas was torn away from me this year. For a couple weeks I almost felt depressed and could not seem to grasp a hold of even a fragment of the "Christmas Spirit." I kept asking myself how I could enjoy a holiday of warmth, cheer, good food, love, gifts given and received. . . when there were so many out there, some even in my own city, suffering emotional, physical, and spiritual need.

The "Chrismas Spirit" did find me, in good time, with Christmas trees, decorations, cookies, and music. . . But something was missing this year. We didn't bake as many cookies, sing as many carols, buy as many presents, or make as many crafts. Yes, something was missing, and I have not yet figured out if it was a pruning from the Master Gardener or negligence on the part of my tired mommy self. In years past, such slackness in our celebrating would have sent me into a tizzy. . .

. . .this year, while I've struggled with a small sense of regret over a few of our "losses," overall there is a feeling of having gained something greater for both myself and my family. We had, to my knowledge, the most peaceful family Christmas ever. I feel that we all (Jason, myself, and the two oldest kids) came together in recognizing the needs of others outside our blessed family. Extended family didn't factor in to our celebrations this year, but we were more than happy to open our home to others looking for someone to share the holiday with. I had to tighten up our Christmas budget to both please my husband and to allow the kids to give to those in need, but I found spectacular deals that still amaze me. And the two oldest lost a little bit of that Christmas magic that makes its way down the chimeny every year, but they were so excited about giving both gifts and time to others that they really didn't care at all.

Christmas may, very well, never be the same in our family again. Santa's magic is slowly fading, gifts are beginning to seem trite and boring, and even Christmas music is failing to capture real Christmas for me at times. But. . .

. . . Christmas may never be the same in our family again. The needs of others are staring at us in bold, itallic letters, we are sensing needs that are more important than another wrapped gift under the tree, and the whole meaning of Christmas is deepening for all of us.

The First Two Weeks of Advent, Sans Pictures

December 1:
*Gordon asked why The Little Match Girl had to be a sad book.

December 2:
*Gordon and Teeny chose to give some of our Christmas budget to go toward a well in a third world country. I think the picture of the little boy with the bloated belly in the World Vision Catalog really made a strong impression on Gordon. He tears up a bit every time we talk about the need for clean water in other countries.
*Painted Christmas cards for family and friends. Better get around to mailing those, huh?

December 3:
*Bud-Jack after reading and talking about Proverbs 15:1, "Those are harsh words!"

December 4:
*Failed yet tasty attempt at a chocolate icecream "yule log". Gordon called it "bark".

December 5:
*Wrote letters to Santa. Gordon asked for either a Creepy Crawler bug making kit or an outdoor survival kit (with an axe. . . um, no). Teeny asked for *another* 18" doll and more doll clothes. Bud-Jack asked for a mountain. When pressed for something a little more doable, he jabbered out something I really couldn't understand at all. Mary is asking for what "Santa" already got her: Little People (thankyou Craigslist).
*Made gingerbread men.

December 6:
*Woke to find bundles of gold-wrapped chocolate coins in our shoes. Happy St. Nicholas Day!

December 7:
*Began brainstorming "gifts that don't cost money."

December 8:
*Out to eat for a Logos fundraiser. Had fun seeing one of Jason's co-workers and her husband and daughter (our wonderful babysitter).

December 9:
*Jason's friends from York Young Leaders over for cookies and coffee. Kids helped make Triple Chocolate Chip cookies.

December 10:
*Hit my mid-Advent slump. But enjoyed stroganoff and pierogies for dinner. Yum.

December 11:
*Brainstorming how to spread Christmas cheer.

December 12:
*Went to local Christmas tree farm to pick and cut down our own. It was cold; we made our choice fast.

Also:
*Shopping for eachother.
*Gordon finished up his "The Three Little Wolves and the Big, Bad Pirate Pig." To be illustrated today by Teeny and then scanned, and printed in photo books for the Grandparents.
*Wrote down my 2010 goals.

Advent 2009

Here are our plans for Advent this year!!!

I've based these plans primarily on what books we have here at home, with "Additional Reads" being books found at our local public library.

Every two days we will have a primary book selection, a lesson (or moral) and symbol, Scripture verses that teach the lesson (or moral), discussion questions and an activity or two, and some additional picture books to go with the lesson.

Long Overdue Pics . . .

. . . We're talkin' Thanksgiving!

Plans Are Just That and Not Much More

I had a lot planned out for Advent -- Bible readings, lighting of candles, . . . Special activities. . . Hand-made gifts. . . But, well, life happens. Life with four littles and a husband out of town for two straight weekends and busy with school for three straight weeks happens. And plans become plans and nothing more.

While it is easy for me to let my plans crumble to a pile of dust, it is very difficult for me to find peace in the destruction. I like to cling, not to the plans, per se; I cling to the feeling that I've failed when I don't see my plans through. I sit and beat myself up because I didn't read our Bible verses for three straight days, we've only lit our advent wreath candles once, I never got to a library to get our Christmas reading list together, I never figured out how to make each child a hand-stitched teddy bear, I haven't helped the kids make their gifts for extended family. . .

I fail to sit and remember that I have taught my eldest two the first 13 verses of Luke 2; that they have memorized several Christmas hymns in the last few weeks; that G seems to remember many of the Bible stories that we've talked about (remembers them from other holiday seasons in which I felt I failed); that I watched them act out, of their own free will, the story of St. Lucia (several times); that I have a son who (like it or not) knows that Christmas isn't about toys but about Jesus; that I've spent some good time curled up with my kids watching Christmas movies. . .

So, this is a note to myself:

"Don't just let go of the plans, Realmomma; let go of the guilt too."

My Christmas List

A Pair of Earplugs
Calgon ("take me away!")
A Year's Supply of Ben & Jerry's

*THE* Lists

Well, up until this year we've done the whole "sit on Santa's lap" thing. However, with a couple non-traditional weekends ahead of us, we are going with letters this year with the understanding that, if they get to a Santa, they are going to just tell him what they put in their letters.

So, for posterity's sake, here are *THE* letters:

G's (who decorated his letter with a Christmas tree, a Christmas stocking, and a candycane):

Dear Santa,

Thank you for the Pirate Kit, I liked that. . . I always wanted that

the Erector Set

and the Dinosaurs

This year I want:

*A Building Set with Real Wood and Tools (and safety glasses)*

*A New Guitar*

&

*A Spy Kit with an Alarm*

T H A N K Y O U ! ! !

I'm gonna have TONS and TONS of cookies for ya!

And TWO cups of milk!

I (heart) U

Love,

G

From Teeny (who decorated her letter with a Christmas tree, a Christmas cake, a house, a gingerbread man, and a Christmas gift) (and who had to do two differet letters; one she paniced over, and the final one that set her worried mind at ease):

Dear Santa,

Thank you for the Beauty and the Beast Doll and Dress (I like Beauty and the Beast) and for the Magnet and Sticker Books.

This year, I think a:

*A Tea Set*

*A Doll House with Dollies and Doll House Furniture*

&

*A Doll with a Pink Dress and a Princess Dress*

would be good.

I (heart) U

I (heart) Mrs. Santa

Love,

TEENY

From Bud-Jack (who decorated his letter with mostly blue and a streak of magenta. . . and was helped in the writing process by his Real Momma):

Dear Santa,

Thank you for the doll, shopping cart, and doodle pad you brought me last year. I loved playing with them.

This year, I would *most* like:

*Trucks and Cars*

*Blocks*

&

*A Stuffed Dog*

Thank you! I'll have a big plate of cookies ready just for you!

Love,

Bud-Jack

From M&M (whose Real Momma wrote and decorated with holly, a candycane, a Christmas stocking, and a Christmas tree):

Dear Santa,

This is my *FIRST* Christmas!!!

I don't want much, but I hope you'll bring me:

*A Stuffed Animal*

*A Shaker Toy*

&

*A Teether Toy -- a *GOOD* one*

Thankyou!

Love,

M&M